God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
