you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
