I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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