remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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