I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
