you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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