You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
