my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize
