OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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