Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
