I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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