it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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