i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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