tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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