i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I see more hoeing in ur future
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize