well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
