Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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