so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
