Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
