I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
