singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
