i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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