i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
