butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
