some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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