so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
