i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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