I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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