I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
