I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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