My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
