So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
