none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
