Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
