Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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