You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
