He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
