Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
