I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
