omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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