Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
