Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
kristin has been a bad kristin
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
