hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
sex in a hospital.. check
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize