I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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