:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
