I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
is it fun? or sober?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
