just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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