This girl is more easily done than said...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
