Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
