She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize