wrigley field is MILF paradise
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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