I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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