we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
