using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
