Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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