the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
