i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
