That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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