Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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