come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
